foxie202:

undress-thebarbiee:

Girls Have 3 Types of Panties

  • period panties
  • chillen panties
  • and im about to get me some dick panties

I can agree to this

billiondollarbaby:

I can’t wait for winter because that’s when all mosquitoes die and go to hell where they belong

paxamgays:

it’s weird how bra commercials are more aimed towards straight male audiences more than the audience that’s actually gonna buy a fuckn bra

minazarei:


asperatus cloud x

IT’S LIKE WATCHING THE WAVES ABOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN

coreyphoenix:

kuogayku:

intentionallyhomosexual:

totallynotmisha:

 

hawk-and-handsaw:

It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached. 

How was this accomplished you ask?
Well its simple
Dogs are colorblind

image

OH SH**

wienrs:

if you’re reading this i’m beautiful

goodfuckingcoffee:

packs 2 hours before leaving for a trip

unpacks 3 months after coming home

misha-dmitri-t-krushnic-collins:

pivotalwolf:

anorie:

lotrlockedwhovian:

baara:

the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

#Excellent customer service

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.
Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

this woukd have made me so happy

maleteen:

some people just normally look like they havent slept in weeks. i am one of those people

floozys:

parental figure: “sit like a lady”

me:

image